"Spiritual Flees."

So my AMAZING friend Chandra has a saying for when someone goes somewhere or is surrounded by something for a long enough amount of time that they can begin to take on their surroundings. This is a topic we talked about at our Bible Study last Thursday night where I was introduced to Chan's calling these "spiritual flees."
My other GREAT friend Matt was telling us about his experience with these "critters" and how he began to become doubtful and just really absorbed the attitude of the people he was around, and it wasn't a good benefit.

Well, I was really thinking the entire time he was talking about this and the whole time I was thinking about me and my school. I've very much gotten spiritual flees from my school. During the summer all I did was go to church, work at the church, be involved in church functions, hang out with my GREAT Christian friends ALL the time so I knew nothing else..those are the times it's easiest to be a good Christian, but then August came, and school comes back around. Yes, I do go to a Christian school, but don't even start judging. It doesn't make every kid in the school a good Christian person. In fact, majority of them are not. And as much as I love my school friends Alex, Brittany, Kendell, Charlie, Emily Shirley, Zach, Melissa etc...they're not really on my spiritual journey with me nor are they holding me accountable for my actions. It's more like me trying to stand out as a Christian on my own. It's not that I'm calling them bad people because they're not, but I'm very much into my walk with God and becoming spiritually mature whereas not all of them are yet. So sometimes I feel like I'm all on my own trying to maintain my goals...like not gossiping and all those little things. But it's SO hard when you're in an environment that's not accepting of this. So I'm really struggling to keep my mind focused on Jesus at all times and pointing everything in the right direction.

I'm really working on it and praying a lot though.

Thanks for reading my random ramblings... [:

Show of Hands, 2007.

Oh yes, and I'm definitely performing.
SOOO EXCITED! =]]

"If No One Will Listen"--

Maybe no one told you there is strength in your tears. So you fight to keep from pouring out. But what if you unlock the gate that keeps your secret soul, you'd think there's enough that you would drown.
If no one will listen if you decide to speak. If no one is left standing after the bombs explode. If no one wants to look at you for what you really are I will be here still.
No one can take you where you alone must go. There's no telling what you will find there. Gah I know the fear that eats away at your bones. It's screaming every step, "Just stay here!"
If no one will listen if you decide to speak. If no one is left standing after the bombs explode. If no one wants to look at you for what you really are I will be here still.
If you find your fists are raw and red from beating yourself down. If your legs have given out under the weight. If you find that you've been settling for a world of grey so you wouldn't have to face down your own hate.
If no one will listen if you decide to speak. If no one is left standing after the bombs explode. If no one wants to look at you for what you really are I will be here still. Oh, I, I will be here still.

Senior year.

Well..it officially started today. Man! I cannot believe it has finally come! It's weird how God prepares you for growing up. I remember just last year thinking, "I'm gonna be a SENIOR?! I don't want to leave my school and people I've known! I'm not ready to leave home and start doing things on my own!" It really used to scare me, but more and more recently I've realized how excited I am to be the big dogs on campus and to be the influencer. I only hope I'm as good as some of the wonderful people I've looked up to my entire CAC career. I realized I'm excited to be the graduating class and move onto college and start something new.

It's kinda like how you're ready at the beginning of each new season. When summer starts I think, "YES! School's out! I can go swimming all I want! Man, I never want to go back to school!" But then before I know it I'm ready for cooler weather, football season and school to start again.

Today, after our first day of Senior year--the "Amazing Race" scavenger hunt and seeing all of our school friends again, we finally got to lunch and all got a little notecard to write our goals on as a Senior and we get it back at the end of the year at our Senior breakfast and see how we did. At the time I was kinda focused on the school aspect of things like..
• getting good grades and trying hard.
• being in at least 1 more school play.
• leading an all girls chapel.

but then I began to realize that my goals could go much deeper to things like...
• making new relationships with the underclassmen and
• being a positive influence for them to look up to.

so these are my goals for my Senior year...
not just to focus all on school and be worried about everyone there and what they think of me or..if I'm friends with everyone? do we have enough memories to look back on? although those are great things it's not the point, and it's not going to be my top priority Senior year. My goal is to be the best I can be for God. Put Him first in everything I do, and to make Him proud. By doing that I'll achieve more than ever and influence not just the students but even my teachers in the way I live for Him. He's all that matters and I want everyone to feel the way I do about Him.

Hello again.

I used to have one of these, but it got too confusing for me and I never updated it. Well, some of my friends have some now and so I made a whole new one to start over with.

Until I have something to say...
Much love! ♥